A history of my feelings about NaNoWriMo:
2011 - 2016: no way, no how. Sounds like an idea for crazy people. Never gonna do it.
mid-October 2017: maybe...
October 30, 2017: Yes. I've got an idea. I've got focus. I've got motivation. I'm doing this.
November 15, 2017: This is not so bad. In fact, this is fun. Energizing. I get up between 4:30 and 5am. I write my words. I stay on track. I go to bed at 9:30 but think of all the crappy TV I am saving myself from. I am writing a book. I am totally doing this.
November 30, 2017: I did it! That was not nearly as hard as everyone says. In fact, I think I'll keep getting up early to write. Imagine all the progress I'll make, all the books I'll write. I've discovered the secret to writing. This is gonna be amazing.
December 11, 2017: I haven't written anything to speak of since November 30th. NaNoWriMo is freakin magic. Only 11 months till it comes back.
I honestly did not think that committing 50,000 words into Scrivner in the month of November was such a hard thing. I didn't loose touch with family and friends. I didn't feed my kids popcorn for dinner. I didn't really feel the pressure to write all the time. I fit writing into my life in a way that really worked and didn't disrupt my normal life.
And yet... December comes along and nada.
Maybe it's because December comes after November. December with all its holiday excitement and added to-do list items, not to mention the call of my couch, begging me to curl up in the evening and watch Christmas movies or read a book (or browse Amazon for one more stocking stuffer). Maybe it's because I got sick on December 1, whether because of all those 5am wake-ups or just because it's flu season and the flu shot is only 10% effective this year and I have two kids in school. Or maybe, getting up early to write everyday is not the sustainable solution I thought it was. Maybe I can only do it when I have something externally driving me towards some kind of finish line.
I haven't figured it out yet. So I'm holding out hope that it isn't the last one.
And I'm telling myself that December this year is what it has always been for me - a time to slow down, shift focus to family first, magic foremost, and twinkling lights everywhere. A time to set early like the sun and wind down the current year on a more reflective, quiet note so that the new year can bring new energy towards new goals. Big family memories instead of big word counts or big career steps. I loathe A Christmas Carol but if it taught us anything it is that tis not the season to toil. Tis the season to celebrate.
Here's to celebrating.